how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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