You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
