friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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