I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
