She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
