I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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