I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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