i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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