is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
