possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
