either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Even my vagina gasped.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
