considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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