It's Friday. Sex?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
