Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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