oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
