dude i'm inner monologue high
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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