i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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