I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
