Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
