I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize