Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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