I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
