Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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