And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
