Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
