I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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