So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
