i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
