You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
