that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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