If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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