It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
