Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
