I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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