May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
