Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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