it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just gargled with NyQuil
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
