Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
