I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
