I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
