dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
