Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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