But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
