I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
