Cold hands, warm shart.
Your dad touched me again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
