You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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