remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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