He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
kristin has been a bad kristin
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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