can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
