question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
