Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
