Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
