But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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