the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
