Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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