How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
