OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
