Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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