turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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