pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Are we still banned from the library?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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