using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
